Resident Evil:Afterlife

You will wish you were entering the afterlife after seeing this film. Hands down it takes the record for the worst film I have seen in at least the last 5 years. At LEAST. How can I count the ways this film blew? One by one I guess.

General Plot: Shit. Pure and utter shit. I loved Resident Evil 3, and the video games are great but holy crap it did not translate well onto film. There are so many physical impossibilities and spotty camera work/special effects it would take a bible-length post to relay it.

Shawn Roberts: I haven’t seen him in any other roles so maybe usually he’s a brilliant actor, but man he’s the most terrible tough guy ever. No one who looks like a Ken doll can be tough, sorry. Also, where did the red eyes come from? WHERE?!?!?

Wentworth Miller: AKA… dude from prison break. Why, oh why, do you know how to break in and out of prisons in every role you play? Seriously. But I have to say he is sexy as all hell so at least he provided the viewer with eye candy. Though I think had he been shirtless or semi-nude in someway it may have salvaged some aspect of this horrific film.

Ending: I won’t give it away, but I assure you there is very little to give away. The characters seem “shocked” at all the pretty much inevitable events which is annoying at best. And there is room for a sequel. God I hope that room is filled with concrete and sinks to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

In conclusion, if you want to see a truly crap film and waste your money, this is the film for you. If you go into the movie expecting crap you won’t be disappointed.